chickenbus

and.








scene.

One Last GHD 'tage for the daDA.



Good Morning, Mominy.
Yes, NighNigh & I did sleep out here.
We're excited.
At long last the bus is pulling into the station!





(Mominy would like to clarify that the outfit is, indeed, her OUTFIT & not a sleeping confection. While I purchased it to wear *separately* I found that I needed a laugh this morning and this completely fit the bill.)






well, I guess Id better turn the radio on...






and see if Im needed anywhere.





On Star turned ON!





CHICKENBUS. I forgot I dont have On Star.





UhOh. Officer MilkyBananapants is needed at the scene!






and.







She'sOff.

ahhh
I can sleep peacefully knowing that I remembered to turn off my siren before I went NighNigh.
No ugly surprises for this toddler tomorrow morning.






And there's nothing like a good SCRATCH to start Officer MilkyBananapants' day out *just* right.





what Mother?
it was a scratch.






Please dont blog about this Mominy.





What's a girl gotta do to get some privacy up in herre.





Ah, yes. Now I remember:
I turn TWO TOMORROW!
The magical Birthday-Sock-filled day when a young girl's life ceases to be out there for public consumption.
No more Vagina Lizzie talk or Mominy prattling on about my emissions in a hotel toilet.
No more chatter about my being the Tiny Dictator or my panic attackesque tantrums.*






And.



TheMereThoughtOfItAllIsEnoughToTireAGemmieOut.









*THOUGHT REMOVED.

topic suggestions.

I have a million but they're all things (only) *I* (might) find compelling.


http://www.goodlifemag.com/archives/2007/12-07/12-07_Fitness.pdf

more than dragging a cranky JEWISH toddler to get her photo taken with Santa.*

the below is my version of Shakespeare's play-within-a-play.


except it's a photo.


and it's because I dont own a scanner.


(and really for the Lawyerman whom I know adores keeping up with what the Tiny Dictator does during her time away from him)









*yes, we had other reasons to need to brave the mall and OTHER REASONS we couldnt be in the domicile.
Im not that crazy.

Just as we're about to pull into the station Toddler Few Words hath become (sigh) Toddler Blabber McGee.

Monday afternoon she held her sippy out to me and stated clear as day:

Mo'* Bubble Please.


They grow so quickly.
Before we know it she'll no longer even desire to caaalaaahh her v'jayjay.


That's it here.


THANK YOU for your comments/emails about similar experiences with your toddlers as per yesterday's post.

Id happily exchange the "mo' bubble please" for "mominy, Im quite stressed about this new domicile to which you keep referring as EMMA'S HOUSE. Shall I be residing there alone?"**




Yesterday.
Pre-OSET.


I knew it. This is an Austin Po-Po car.





Sure it's a great gift but it cant handle the cold!
My battery is dead.






Hey lady!
Can you give a banana-mouth a jump?






What's that? You say *I* drained the battery?







Oh. It appears Officer MilkyMcBananapants left her siren on all evening.
Duly noted.






I guess Id better bundle up until the battery is rejuvenated & I can get some heat up in herre.





Ah, yes.





I can always count on the Steerees to keep me warm.







and.




scene.












*if by MO you mean MORE----which we do (I know. write this down. the correct definition.)
I happily poured that girl a glass of 70/30 (water/bubble) in an effort to calm her post-melter.

**correct assumption or not homegurl is now audience to many Mominylogues regarding the notion that we are ALL moving to the new Emma-house.
Together.
As a unit.
A tripod accompanied by a SpecialNeedsBullmastiff.

Years ago I saw a (highly unmemorable) movie with Bruce Willis (The Story of Us?) all about the dissolution of a family (good times).

I recall nothing of the film except one scene:
it was dinner time & the family went around the table so each family could share their high/best moment of the day and their low/worst.

Even at that tender age (15? 26? who even remembers anymore) I LOVED that notion/decided that I would do that with my family some day.

In that vein here's yesterday's high/low.

high? YES. Everything.
It was fantastic having my family here for the holiday and I adored that they didnt leave until this morning.
It was a nice long visit.


the low? frightening.
I share it mainly because A. until Emma's birthday this is her only journal* and 2. because Ive been SO THANKFUL when people have shared anecdotes with me as the same scenario happening having been forewarned is far less frazzling.


Bottom line? Emma appeared to have what I can only call a DAY TERROR.


We were driving merrily along and allofthesudden she turned panicked, wailing & entirely inconsolable.

ENTIRELY.

I pulled over, checked her out (physically fine, not wet, not hungry), we played for a bit and got back into the car.

EXACT SAME SCENARIO (as if, my mom pointed out, she'd had a bad dream about her car seat and was reminded of it) except with the added benefit of her SCREAMING at the top of her lungs over & over & over:

Mommy!!!!! Baby up!!!! up!!!!

whilst reaching out to me and without my parents being able to comfort Toddler EASILY Soothed.

(cue ominous music & set scene with bumper to bumper traffic/no way to pull over)

All I could do was reach my hand back to her and, while it didnt soothe her, it did allow me to feel her tiny heart RACING.


Got home. Picked her up and she calmed down quickly (& insisted on DOWN so she could play).


When it came time to leave the house again SAME THING.


Eventually my mom drove while I sat in the back with Emma and, after some good old fashioned cousin-play-time, she was ENTIRELY normal on the drive home.


great googly moogly it was HORRIBLE/horribly heartbreaking.

Carla's Choice if you will but the decision was run us off the road, throw car into park and grab the baby (not a good option in Austin rush hour/no good side of the road) or keep on keepin' on until we got home.


I surmise it was Emma's LOW as well seeing as she fell sound asleep for 30 minutes yesterday afternoon.


Mominyhood. It's always something.










*Seeing as Emma's turns two on friday the chickenbus is pulling into the station for good that night.
Best laid plans blah blah blah Ill be blogging at MissedNapportunities.wordpress.com when I get the p-word stuff figured out.

"Yes, that's Emma's v'jayjay. No, honey, markers dont belong down there."


"Why sure you can eat breakfast in yer copcar if that's what youd like!"



a big THANK YOU to C & S for Emma's outfit.
There was no plan to open it early---until there was.




Good Morning, Mominy.






Officer MilkyMcBananapants reporting for breakfast & duty.





WHAT?
No doughnuts?!





CHICKENBUS.
Whatever will I do?





Does this freakin thing have On Star?
Ill bet they'd send some along STAT.





And.


NoSadlyItDoesNot.

What a FUN FUN FUN week.
It's amazing how *not* discombobulated Emma gets when her routine is outta whack but it all ends with her in her own crib at night.


Im off.


Our Yesterday:



Im am tired.




OF THE COLD, PEEPHOLE, not of my early a'risings.
Being compelled to don tights turns The Gemmie into The Crabbie.





see?






What makes me happy?






Posing by the potty for some kind of reason*.




(the by-request mominy shot for the relatives and...)




A toddler playing a harmonica (comedy gold, peephole, comedy gold)





and We're OUT.










*(my apologies, Emma. Im weak and I also promised to be a smidge more circumspect once you turned two)

we had a couple of developmental milestones passed this weekend.

One perhaps by accident (Emma pooped in the hotel toilet. Yes, she begged to be placed on there and mimicked Mominy's ImSqueeeeeezeinSomethingOut noises. No, Im not sure she planned/anticipated the ploppage) & the other not (she blew her nose. we're both thinking she mightcould have been doing this for a while if we hadnt been wiping *for* her.)

Our lives? fraught with bodily-function glamour.

Subtitle: Seriously. This chickenbus is boring even if you ARE a family member.*




Doing her cowgurl version of Today 4 U**





stopping as she hears SOMETHING on the roof.





Emma HEARTS the rain.





she also hearts the opportunity to teach Bubbie how to turn on & off the lamp.





and clarifying for Papa that this one requires a foot-movement to tap it on and off.





she loves getting (in the way as) presents (are) assembled for her.








And.


CallingTheStationAsHerPartnerHasYetToShowUpForDuty.







*feel the need to clarify that I mean my BLOG POST and not the act of having all the family in the ATX to visit.


**when we first got home from the 'mala Emma was (far more than now) Baby Always On The Move.
Somehow I discovered that the one thing that would slow her down was when Angel sang Today 4 U on my TiVo'd version of RENT (your comment made me laugh, H!).

Needless to say that chickenbus was on a perpetual loop for a while...

subtitle: random thought? I love the quiet of the morning pre-Tornado time.


first? (second to our skulls) how much do we love the car magnet below (please to also see: IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS...)?




I wouldnt necessarily purchase the menorah due to the fact that, as with white pants, Im not a fan of material goods with limited usage capabilities, but there are a bunch of others I'd roll with happily.

Seeing as I plan to drive my car until it crumbles I shall tat it it from headlights to rear bumper as rust & age sets in.
http://www.car-tatts.com




Next? Websters defines an advent calendar as: a special calendar used by some Christians to count the days of Advent. Today, they are mostly made for children.

The movie Bad Santa prompted this Jew to define an advent calendar as: a special calendar used by some people in which to hide chocolate & candy treats not easily fixed/or replace by a drunken Billy Bob.

Regardless of definition I love this:

http://landofnod.com

It's like an advent calendar MADE for a Jewtemalan such as The Gemmie.
Sure she has her spiritual side (Her PRAY, if you will, of E.P.L.) but homegurl also adores a good EAT and Id happily tuck some chocolate Hanukkah Gelt in a few of those pockets.


that's it here.


still cold & we're still enjoying it.


(unlike our poor guests who hauled-chickenbus to what they thought was the land of WarmerThanFromWhenceTheyCame)





And.








EmptyPopcornBinAsDrumSCENE.

daDA, the cold front is here.
we must dress accordingly.




did you know that the majority of heat-loss is through one's head?
Please to put this on.





(a struggle but thankfully not a SCUFFLE ensues)





admiring her handiwork





showing off her handiwork.





Mominy interjecting herself in the mix.







and.




scene.

Dead G-d,

Gemmie here. I wanted to take a minute on this day o'thanks to give you a shout out.
There are so many things for which I am thankful.
For my Mominy & my daDA.
For my specialneedsbullmastiff (pour some dogfood out for our fallen homie, Barkley).
For my new home.
For my now home and its working AIR CONDITIONING.





For the fact that Im allowed to make my own napless path in life and Mominy & daDA dont attempt to squelch my spirit.
And, lastly, for these lovely beer coozie-things that double so fantastically as bracelets.
Love,
Emma-Louise





And.


OnlyMotivatingToWriteCuzThePhoneDontWork.

sweating and waiting for the cold front to arrive.

(there's hot chocolate and cookies in the other room for the aforementioned front who arrives--fingers crossed-- tonight)


Im tired.
It was too hot for The Gemmie to sleep.
Can we order in?
Does this pizza joint make breakfast? it is too HOT IN HERRE to even ponder microwaving.





This is better.
I think I hear the cold front!
Is it coming on an EAT MEAT?





Why yes, Emma-Louise, there is an a/c repairdude coming.
Someday.





Perfect, daDA. Can you SEE how HOT I am?




and



HAPPYTHANKSGIVINGwe'reOUT,Peephole.

subtitle: neither humorous nor jointed (as in it's DIS).




It's almost time to go.
I cant decide which my Bubbie & Papa will like more: the reindeer headwear or my crayon-carrier.
I think Ill bring both.





Ahh! The joy that is an elevator.
This is old hat for The Gemmie.





Ill show you what to do. My daDA's office building has one of these.
I believe it's the only other one in the world.





OK.
Now Bubbie, you tell me what you want to do while you're in town and The Gemmie shall make a list.






Ill start you off: buy Emma lots & lots of tattoos.






Papa? Join in!
Ive got tons of paper.






Where are we off to now?




I hope Mominy has chosen somewhere fun.
If we dont show them a great time they might think we roll quite boringly in the ATX.





Interesting choice, Mother. Is this supposed to be a scenic overlook?*





Perhaps a kiss shall distract them from this locale's lack of beauty.







yada. yada. yada. changes afoot. living not photographing. LOTS of running around and about







AND.



DayDoneSoTiredMustWearShadesToAvoidPublicSeeingBagsUnderEyesScene.








*no.

Nothing major-major but that coupled with Thanksgiving, the arrival (yay!) of family today & wednesday makes for a full on LIVING NOT BLOGGING 'PALOOZA.


I give you a few Emma shots from yesterday.


Alas it was neither captured on video nor on camera but she hauled her Whitey McWhiterpants (Spanish lullaby singing) Grandpa around all day insisting he needed to poop.



*All* day.



I think Grandpa must have hit the Fiber One a smidge too hard over the weekend.*



happily reading on the kitchen floor (for a split-second).






joyfully showing me her book (until it inexplicably downgrades into her wanting to throw it at me).






Pausing to show me (and by default you) how red marker can look strikingly similar to a hickey.
I told her to file that one away for her teenage years.





Deciding what she will ask for & then refuse to eat next...






selecting the raisins because her "business" isnt loose ENOUGH already (please to read in sarcastic tone).
She and Grandpa have a lot in common.







And.



IfOnlyShe'dLeaveThisChickenbusInItSoMadeMominyLaugh.











*she's also started yanking on the back of *my* bottoms (which all too often are running shorts with a sewn-in liner if you get my drift) and asking "poop? poop?"

I think starting today I'll change my poop-checkage to peering down her diaper & saying:

Your mother is quite witty and talented.


Let's see the tornado mimic THAT chickenbus.

A wordless 'tage.



































And.




Scene.

Im so thankful that Mominy has friends.
I seriously think she'd lose her chickenbus more than she already has if she didnt have so many great people in her life.





Is this spelled right, Mother?




What else could I add to my sign?
Hmmm.
I dont think grown-ups like to put their age on things.





I guess this is it then.
Yes?






And.


HappyBirthdayTHANKYOUForTheGiftOfYourFriendshipSCENE.

Off to live & not blog and Im sure there'll be a lot of that between now and, well, *after* now.


Our yesterday was fine.


Just when I think Im one hundred percent used to the fact that Emma wont nap---Im not.

I somehow convinced myself that she'd fall sound asleep after my morning meeting/we ran errands but, of course, she didnt.


She did, however, receive a new pair of sunglasses.

She'd stretched out her other pairs (since she needs to be like the cool-toddlers and wear them up on her head) and due to my lack of hiding prowess she got an early birthday present yesterday.


Unlike having her hair done--she loves the sunglasses.


examining the new style of specs




getting them





situated.






modeling.





modeling.





modeling




Even after all *that* fun she still insisted "HAIR UP" (even though we both knew that said hair would come immediately down) so I played along.




Do my hair




I look good





Dont you think so Mominy?





And.


RippedRightOut.

subtitle: Or not so happy if you're fortunate enough to be at the 815 am meeting to which Im hauling Emma since I dont have a sitter.
Should be a carnival ride.



First? I must show how excited I am about the cold front that dropped on by yesterday morning*:


Yep. The FULL-ON to the ankle camo tights & a long sleeved SeeMommyRun (thanks Andrea!) tee.
FINALLY.






Next? No reason & no caption--just LOVE.
I could have pretended that I was posting this to show you emma's new hair-dont. And then hath rambled about how I trimmed her 80's rat-tail off with kitchen shears while she played with daDA but I wont bother.
Just love.







OK.
Time is a'wasting & I need to get moving BUT wanna share this last teaching-thought with you.

Emma? she hasnt had too much interest in learning her colors. (SHOCKING from a toddler who calls airplanes something which alltooclearly sounds like EAT MEAT)

It doesnt help that she really isnt interested in picking out her clothes either as Id imagine that might be a great time to gush about "ooooh you picked a PINK SHIRT. PRETTY PRETTY PINK."

yesterday, however, it CLICKED.

The light went on (puntocome intended) and she discovered a reason to learn/use the words BLUE, GREEN & WHITE.


I give you Turtle Star Night Light Thing. A Gemmie-Love 'tage.




This plastic turtle of mine. IM GONNA LET IT SHINE.




This little turtle of mine? Its stars on the CEILING shine.





It's blue white and green at times. This little turtle of mine.








AccidcentallyTurningOff






AndFixItMominyPleaseSCENE.









*if by cold front you mean a high near 70 degrees which, if youre a Texas weatherperson, you do.